Post by Aaron on Jun 2, 2007 14:43:59 GMT -5
"BREATHE!!"
I hear the words moments after I think I did the stupidest thing in my life, perhaps it is because
I am weak willed, perhaps it is because I was always trodden upon, perhaps it's because I'm little
more then a gay puke in so many peoples eyes. I found escape, I found release in the most
fascinating way I could ever imagine, the Occult.
I was born into a Nuclear family, the eldest son to two married Christian parents, both who loved
me throughly and cared for me regardless of who I was, as was my grandparents, and extended
family. They accepted me so much, they thought of nothing to allow me to do what I wished to
enhance my own life, and make something of myself. Idealism breeds contempt, I rebelled
early when my first word was No.To be accepted so freely, so purely was a sham, I never earned
it and I damn well knew it. I resented the fact I was never challenged in my life, resented the
people who loved me most.
In elementary my marks were beyond exceptional, I was a genius in my own right, and teachers
explained that I was a gifted child. However I was a brooder, they felt my poor attitude would
reflect badly if I was allowed to continue, after three therapists and two specialists, the pills
started. Sedated into a zombie like creature for 5 years of my life, I fought with my synapses
to defy it once more. I will not take these anymore I promised myself, and I never did. My parents
reluctantly agreed, it was more then a year later before I started acting out in an introverted way.
Catholic School was more then a simple chore for me, I took every book I could find on things
that were more meaningful, more magical in nature, and not burnable by the Pope and Library
staff for its contents. The Hobbit, Allana, Dragonriders of Pern, they all gave way to a world
of mysticism and wonder, I knew their fantasy, but I yearned for what truth the human mind
held in regards to these wonders. Where was the truth in these stories?
Religion class was a bore, yadda yadda Buddha did this, yadda yadda Christ turned this to wine,
and then it struck me, Moses and Pharaoh were having it out. Moses threw down his mighty
staff and it turned into a snake, not to be outdone Pharaoh threw down his own staff, and it
too turned into a snake. Moses snaked ate Pharaohs in proof his magic was stronger but there
was the answer. Even the Bible itself proclaims there is power that although is not as strong
as God, exists... if only I could research it more. So I went to a place that didn't burn books,
the Local Library.
It did not nearly have enough of the information I wanted, but apparently I found out that someone
was watching for these specific books to be taken out. It wasn't long before I had a letter in my
mail box, something I have never had before, addressed to me. No return address, no stamp,
nothing to indicate who sent it or why. My curiosity got the best of me very quickly, and I opened
the letter and it spoke softly..
"Dear Alex,
It would appear that you have checked out the following
books, (A list followed but I shall not bore you), and it has
become of great interest to us. We know that you are seeking
knowledge, but are always stuck at where to go. The pieces
you found only compound your resolve to find more, well we
offer you this once in a lifetime chance, meet us at this
independent bookstore at 11:19pm. Be alone, be prepared
to discover truth, and make certain this is what you want.
Signed,
The Management"
I showed up at 10:19, prudent as always with my timings, and waited for whatever it was
I was waiting for, keeping a sharp and keen eye out for anyone approaching or coming.
I even brought a small knife with me in case it was some kind of murderer, you never know
the world is a dark place. Nothing... I waited an entire hour and the sign lit up as open, and
I boldly walked in.....
I hear the words moments after I think I did the stupidest thing in my life, perhaps it is because
I am weak willed, perhaps it is because I was always trodden upon, perhaps it's because I'm little
more then a gay puke in so many peoples eyes. I found escape, I found release in the most
fascinating way I could ever imagine, the Occult.
I was born into a Nuclear family, the eldest son to two married Christian parents, both who loved
me throughly and cared for me regardless of who I was, as was my grandparents, and extended
family. They accepted me so much, they thought of nothing to allow me to do what I wished to
enhance my own life, and make something of myself. Idealism breeds contempt, I rebelled
early when my first word was No.To be accepted so freely, so purely was a sham, I never earned
it and I damn well knew it. I resented the fact I was never challenged in my life, resented the
people who loved me most.
In elementary my marks were beyond exceptional, I was a genius in my own right, and teachers
explained that I was a gifted child. However I was a brooder, they felt my poor attitude would
reflect badly if I was allowed to continue, after three therapists and two specialists, the pills
started. Sedated into a zombie like creature for 5 years of my life, I fought with my synapses
to defy it once more. I will not take these anymore I promised myself, and I never did. My parents
reluctantly agreed, it was more then a year later before I started acting out in an introverted way.
Catholic School was more then a simple chore for me, I took every book I could find on things
that were more meaningful, more magical in nature, and not burnable by the Pope and Library
staff for its contents. The Hobbit, Allana, Dragonriders of Pern, they all gave way to a world
of mysticism and wonder, I knew their fantasy, but I yearned for what truth the human mind
held in regards to these wonders. Where was the truth in these stories?
Religion class was a bore, yadda yadda Buddha did this, yadda yadda Christ turned this to wine,
and then it struck me, Moses and Pharaoh were having it out. Moses threw down his mighty
staff and it turned into a snake, not to be outdone Pharaoh threw down his own staff, and it
too turned into a snake. Moses snaked ate Pharaohs in proof his magic was stronger but there
was the answer. Even the Bible itself proclaims there is power that although is not as strong
as God, exists... if only I could research it more. So I went to a place that didn't burn books,
the Local Library.
It did not nearly have enough of the information I wanted, but apparently I found out that someone
was watching for these specific books to be taken out. It wasn't long before I had a letter in my
mail box, something I have never had before, addressed to me. No return address, no stamp,
nothing to indicate who sent it or why. My curiosity got the best of me very quickly, and I opened
the letter and it spoke softly..
"Dear Alex,
It would appear that you have checked out the following
books, (A list followed but I shall not bore you), and it has
become of great interest to us. We know that you are seeking
knowledge, but are always stuck at where to go. The pieces
you found only compound your resolve to find more, well we
offer you this once in a lifetime chance, meet us at this
independent bookstore at 11:19pm. Be alone, be prepared
to discover truth, and make certain this is what you want.
Signed,
The Management"
I showed up at 10:19, prudent as always with my timings, and waited for whatever it was
I was waiting for, keeping a sharp and keen eye out for anyone approaching or coming.
I even brought a small knife with me in case it was some kind of murderer, you never know
the world is a dark place. Nothing... I waited an entire hour and the sign lit up as open, and
I boldly walked in.....